I'll Have That. No You Won't.

Not many of us gain 25 lbs in a single month of holiday indulgence. Nor I.

The Strib food writer, Rick Nelson, was an hour long guest on MPR this morning with stories of bad service in restaurants. He and call in guests named names. Ooooh. Some good bad stuff.

A waitress who worked for me once got her food orders all screwed up and served the wrong food to a particular guest. When informed that the food on his plate was not what he had ordered, the waitress patted his arm in a motherly way and said," you just eat this anyway,I think you'll like it." I am not naming names.

MPR is planning a future show in which restaurant service personnel call in w/ stories of rude customers. Ooooh.

Where do you fit in?

Happy New Year!!!

Rye Krisp and Muenster, Cold Beer, Good Sports

Good sports on TV last night and on the radio. New England vs the Giants. Gopher men BB in the UNLV tournament. You can listen to WCCO AM radio on your computer. I just found that out. Gotta love radio and those radio announcers, thanks to this new technology( computers).

Hard tack and sharp cheddar and a cold beer. Dad always called it hard tack, though I've never seen that printed on a package. Rye Krisp. Muenster too, soft and creamy and white w/ an orange rind. The soft cheese and the hard cracker is a nice contrast in texture. There is a depth of flavor in rye crisp, even though its only rye flour and water and salt. Simple can be pretty good. Good for you too.

So I'm in my fleece at the laptop on the porch listening to the the basketball game and watching the football game as reflected in a strategically situated mirror and the kids are out sliding down the hill onto the lake in the dark. It was a great evening. Love all this fresh snow. Both of my teams won.Brady and Moss set records. Hoffarber sparks the Gophers into an early lead after a sluggish start.

The kids come in and have hot chocolate and peppermint tea. We win all around. We have fudge for a late night treat and all crawl in together, even the pup, for a while. A great night.

Chili Today, Hot Tamale

If there was ever a time that you would like to know that you are eating when you are eating, it is when you are eating chili. Show me a truly good bowl of chili N of Mpls and I'll buy it for you.

Many in the restaurant business Up North apparently feel that it is taboo to offend anyone with spice and/or with depth and complexity of flavor. Or else, like a lot of restaurant owners Up Here, they simply know nothing of food and make the very tired and bland variety of chili that is unbelievably actually called chili. The origin of chili is the chili pepper. Nary a pepper will be found in most chilis Up North. Ground beef, onions, kidney beans, chili powder and canned tomato soup. Not a real pepper. No garlic. Not a tomato. Cooked too long and too thick. Bland, boring glop.

I had a cup at a local bar/restaurant on the south shore of Mille Lacs yesterday. I should have known better. I do know better. Even a Mn style chili can be good. Just not in a local restaurant or cafe or bar. Too bad.

Work Out, Eat Christmas Cookies

As God is my witness, I love Christmas cookies and candy. I have only made fudge( the old fashioned way), and mahogony buttercrunch toffee w/ chocolate and nuts this year. My favorites. Another favorite, though, is a shortbread style cookie( not too sweet like sugar cookies), frosted w/ confectioner's sugar, cream cheese, milk to moisten and/or butter. It is not too sweet, and you can add lemon juice to the yellow frosting, and lime juice to the green frosting, and melted redhots to the red. Cream cheese adds taste and body and protein. You feel like you are eating healthy if you worked out that day. It is the best frosting in the Christmas Cookie world.

During this holiday season, you must remember that any food that tastes really good, is really good for you. Taste trumps calories. Don't forget to workout. The food won't hurt you a bit. Every time you eat, your metabolism kicks in. Eating is good. Working out also helps if you have been drinking egg nog. Egg nog is good protein and it may lighten you up a little bit, if you are me. Merry Christmas. Pray, Eat, Love!

Why You Should Eat Alaskan King Crab for Christmas

Because they are exquisite, you don't have to cook them, and they are cheap compared to any top of the line steak or prime rib. They are cooked and frozen immediately on the boat in the Bering sea. That means they are fresh. They have their own packaging too, which is called a shell. Simply thaw them and serve them w/ melted butter( and garlic if you like). Or you may warm them in a pan w/ water, an oven, or a microwave. Remember: they are already cooked, you only need get them thawed, warmed, or hot depending on your temperature preference.

King Crab demand a stout knife, or a scissors( fiskars work great) to cut/slice the shell. You will get sections of crab that are hot dog sized. Bang on the knuckle and the claw w/ the back of a french knife or even a small hammer. They are fun to eat.

I bought five lbs of them at Thielen's in Pierz last wk at $8.99 a lb, and fed 8 adults to satisfaction. This wk they are $9.99 a lb, still a bargain. Pinot Grigio white wine is a good accompaniment - slightly sweet like the crab.

Bring Em On, Onions and Mushrooms, that is

Another great appetizer to serve at holiday gatherings is a mixture of slow sauteed( carmelized) onions and mushrooms - any will work - I used baby portobellas. Start w/ olive oil and finely diced onions and simmer until they are golden, add butter and garlic, chopped mushrooms, parsley and sage and continue simmering. You can't rush the process or you will burn the butter. This is slow cooking at it's best - always take it slow when carmelizing onions or they will burn. You are bringing out the natural golden sugar in the onion. Sweet. Oh - one part onion to 4 parts mushrooms. You may finish them off w/ a little white wine, brandy, or cognac for the last minute or so of cooking.

Cool to serve or serve just warm or room temperature on baguette rounds. The butter in the recipe congeals as it cools and helps to make a paste of the onions and mushrooms.

Surrounded by Cheeseballs

Here's a take on the ubiquitous cheeseball that is de rigueur this time of the year. It is a salmon and cream cheese ball that is sweet and spicy in an asian way.It doesn't have to be spherical. You could make it in the shape of a salmon, a Christmas tree, or a football for example, which I did once did for a party on Bay Lake at which Bud Grant was the guest of honor.

Begin w/ a pkg( 8 oz) of softened cream cheese. Add 3 oz flaked w/ a fork cooked salmon( canned or your own leftovers), 1 tablespoon of honey, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper( or red pepper flakes), 1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic, 3 tablespoons chopped green onions( or chives, or 1 teaspoon onion powder). Mix it all together w/ the back of a spoon, taste and adjust seasonings, shape it as you wish and sprinkle chopped parsley and /or paprika on it. If you have shaped it like a Christmas tree, you could use red pimentos and fresh herb leaves like basil or cilantro to decorate the tree.Chill.

Serve it w/ assorted crackers or baguette rounds. It is really good. You could add lemon pepper to it as well, or apricot preserves. Make it as sweet and or/hot as you like.

Merry Christmas.