I'll Have That. No You Won't.

Not many of us gain 25 lbs in a single month of holiday indulgence. Nor I.

The Strib food writer, Rick Nelson, was an hour long guest on MPR this morning with stories of bad service in restaurants. He and call in guests named names. Ooooh. Some good bad stuff.

A waitress who worked for me once got her food orders all screwed up and served the wrong food to a particular guest. When informed that the food on his plate was not what he had ordered, the waitress patted his arm in a motherly way and said," you just eat this anyway,I think you'll like it." I am not naming names.

MPR is planning a future show in which restaurant service personnel call in w/ stories of rude customers. Ooooh.

Where do you fit in?

Happy New Year!!!

Rye Krisp and Muenster, Cold Beer, Good Sports

Good sports on TV last night and on the radio. New England vs the Giants. Gopher men BB in the UNLV tournament. You can listen to WCCO AM radio on your computer. I just found that out. Gotta love radio and those radio announcers, thanks to this new technology( computers).

Hard tack and sharp cheddar and a cold beer. Dad always called it hard tack, though I've never seen that printed on a package. Rye Krisp. Muenster too, soft and creamy and white w/ an orange rind. The soft cheese and the hard cracker is a nice contrast in texture. There is a depth of flavor in rye crisp, even though its only rye flour and water and salt. Simple can be pretty good. Good for you too.

So I'm in my fleece at the laptop on the porch listening to the the basketball game and watching the football game as reflected in a strategically situated mirror and the kids are out sliding down the hill onto the lake in the dark. It was a great evening. Love all this fresh snow. Both of my teams won.Brady and Moss set records. Hoffarber sparks the Gophers into an early lead after a sluggish start.

The kids come in and have hot chocolate and peppermint tea. We win all around. We have fudge for a late night treat and all crawl in together, even the pup, for a while. A great night.

Chili Today, Hot Tamale

If there was ever a time that you would like to know that you are eating when you are eating, it is when you are eating chili. Show me a truly good bowl of chili N of Mpls and I'll buy it for you.

Many in the restaurant business Up North apparently feel that it is taboo to offend anyone with spice and/or with depth and complexity of flavor. Or else, like a lot of restaurant owners Up Here, they simply know nothing of food and make the very tired and bland variety of chili that is unbelievably actually called chili. The origin of chili is the chili pepper. Nary a pepper will be found in most chilis Up North. Ground beef, onions, kidney beans, chili powder and canned tomato soup. Not a real pepper. No garlic. Not a tomato. Cooked too long and too thick. Bland, boring glop.

I had a cup at a local bar/restaurant on the south shore of Mille Lacs yesterday. I should have known better. I do know better. Even a Mn style chili can be good. Just not in a local restaurant or cafe or bar. Too bad.

Work Out, Eat Christmas Cookies

As God is my witness, I love Christmas cookies and candy. I have only made fudge( the old fashioned way), and mahogony buttercrunch toffee w/ chocolate and nuts this year. My favorites. Another favorite, though, is a shortbread style cookie( not too sweet like sugar cookies), frosted w/ confectioner's sugar, cream cheese, milk to moisten and/or butter. It is not too sweet, and you can add lemon juice to the yellow frosting, and lime juice to the green frosting, and melted redhots to the red. Cream cheese adds taste and body and protein. You feel like you are eating healthy if you worked out that day. It is the best frosting in the Christmas Cookie world.

During this holiday season, you must remember that any food that tastes really good, is really good for you. Taste trumps calories. Don't forget to workout. The food won't hurt you a bit. Every time you eat, your metabolism kicks in. Eating is good. Working out also helps if you have been drinking egg nog. Egg nog is good protein and it may lighten you up a little bit, if you are me. Merry Christmas. Pray, Eat, Love!

Why You Should Eat Alaskan King Crab for Christmas

Because they are exquisite, you don't have to cook them, and they are cheap compared to any top of the line steak or prime rib. They are cooked and frozen immediately on the boat in the Bering sea. That means they are fresh. They have their own packaging too, which is called a shell. Simply thaw them and serve them w/ melted butter( and garlic if you like). Or you may warm them in a pan w/ water, an oven, or a microwave. Remember: they are already cooked, you only need get them thawed, warmed, or hot depending on your temperature preference.

King Crab demand a stout knife, or a scissors( fiskars work great) to cut/slice the shell. You will get sections of crab that are hot dog sized. Bang on the knuckle and the claw w/ the back of a french knife or even a small hammer. They are fun to eat.

I bought five lbs of them at Thielen's in Pierz last wk at $8.99 a lb, and fed 8 adults to satisfaction. This wk they are $9.99 a lb, still a bargain. Pinot Grigio white wine is a good accompaniment - slightly sweet like the crab.

Bring Em On, Onions and Mushrooms, that is

Another great appetizer to serve at holiday gatherings is a mixture of slow sauteed( carmelized) onions and mushrooms - any will work - I used baby portobellas. Start w/ olive oil and finely diced onions and simmer until they are golden, add butter and garlic, chopped mushrooms, parsley and sage and continue simmering. You can't rush the process or you will burn the butter. This is slow cooking at it's best - always take it slow when carmelizing onions or they will burn. You are bringing out the natural golden sugar in the onion. Sweet. Oh - one part onion to 4 parts mushrooms. You may finish them off w/ a little white wine, brandy, or cognac for the last minute or so of cooking.

Cool to serve or serve just warm or room temperature on baguette rounds. The butter in the recipe congeals as it cools and helps to make a paste of the onions and mushrooms.

Surrounded by Cheeseballs

Here's a take on the ubiquitous cheeseball that is de rigueur this time of the year. It is a salmon and cream cheese ball that is sweet and spicy in an asian way.It doesn't have to be spherical. You could make it in the shape of a salmon, a Christmas tree, or a football for example, which I did once did for a party on Bay Lake at which Bud Grant was the guest of honor.

Begin w/ a pkg( 8 oz) of softened cream cheese. Add 3 oz flaked w/ a fork cooked salmon( canned or your own leftovers), 1 tablespoon of honey, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper( or red pepper flakes), 1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic, 3 tablespoons chopped green onions( or chives, or 1 teaspoon onion powder). Mix it all together w/ the back of a spoon, taste and adjust seasonings, shape it as you wish and sprinkle chopped parsley and /or paprika on it. If you have shaped it like a Christmas tree, you could use red pimentos and fresh herb leaves like basil or cilantro to decorate the tree.Chill.

Serve it w/ assorted crackers or baguette rounds. It is really good. You could add lemon pepper to it as well, or apricot preserves. Make it as sweet and or/hot as you like.

Merry Christmas.

The Captain Meets the Captain

A good old fashioned recipe for fudge can be found in Craig Claiborne's Southern Cooking. The kind you cook, no marshmallows. It is very similar to my Mom's recipe from the 50's or 40's or earlier. You have to beat this fudge w/ a wooden spoon until it looses its sheen, and then. introduce it to a buttered pan. Mom always did it drop style, which most people find almost impossible. Walnuts too. My favorite. I used hazelnuts tonight because I have a super abundance of them.

Next is mahogany butter crunch toffee w/ a chocolate and hazelnut topping. Why am I doing all this tonight.? Family Christmas gathering tomorrow.

The menu? Alaskan King Crab Legs and ratatouille on polenta pie w/ an alfredo type sauce on top - bolognese style. I am using spaghetti squash instead of eggplant in the ratatouille. Can't get eggplant up North at the corner store, but they did have spaghetti squash. Never had it. Should be interesting. A salad w/ dates and walnuts, bleu cheese, olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Maybe bacon too. Thielen's pepper bacon. A galette style apple crisp w/ whipped cream for dessert.

Egg nog to drink w/ Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Courvosier Cognac. I am testing that tonight while I make the sweets. Sweet.

Revisited: The Far Side of Town

In fairness to the supper club in the field on the edge of town, I must say that I did not see their regular menu( only the limited selection party one). If you have been a professional in the business, you know a lot about a restaurant by the time you are 10 feet inside the door. Was it clean out front?Did someone greet you? Tell you it is great to see you, thank you for coming, make you feel like the King of England? Is it dead quiet, or is there some great and appropriate music playing?

If you have spent many years in the kitchens of restaurants, you know exactly what is going on in the kitchen by looking at the menu. Are the appetizers all predone frozen stuff? Are steaks identified by their proper names? Are fish ( walleye) and seafood all breaded and deep fat fried? Is there anything that is really made from scratch? Is it a "wild rice blend?" Are are any of the choices different from what every other rural "supper club" has on the menu? Is this place chef driven? Does the waitress answer food questions knowledgeably?

Is the caesar salad made w/ iceberg lettuce? That will answer a lot of questions by itself. It either means that they don't know any better( go elsewhere), or that the owner is to cheap to buy the real thing( romaine). Go elsewhere. If the owner won't spend the money for the right lettuce, it is a clue that he/she is not spending money for other quality menu items. It may mean that he is buying by price alone, which will result in an inferior product on your plate. If you don't start w/ a great product, you will not end up with one.

On the Far Side of Town

Nearly every small town town in Mn has a supper club in a field just outside of town. It is the place that everyone goes to on special occasions, and on saturday nights. People think it is fancy. It has cloth napkins. The menu generally includes steak, breaded butterflied shrimp, and fettucine alfredo w/ chicken and maybe shrimp. There may be a caesar salad with iceberg lettuce. If it is good real food you are after, you are better off to have a homemade meatloaf at the cafe in town, if they make their own mashed potatoes and gravy(usually from a bag or mix). You are probably better off to eat at home, if you can cook, but sometimes it is nice to go out if someone else is paying for it and it is a business Christmas party. You would not want to pay for it yourself because who wants to pay for an iceberg lettuce caesar and bagged alfredo sauce.

Where does this come from? On Monday I was w/ a group of people just outside of town( Little Falls) at a supper club in a field. It could have been anywhere, really. I am glad someone else paid for it. I did enjoy the company.

A Good Reason, finally, to go to St Cloud

I was in St Cloud Sat eve to attend a Play at St Cloud State University, where my youngest son is a theater major. He had 4 small parts in the play, "Edmond" by David Mamet. It was a dark depressing play, brutal, sexual, shocking to see in the intimate setting of the downstairs theater in the Performing Arts Center. Good acting by the students in this student directed play, but I have questions about the choice of this play over the other consideration, which was " One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

A great discovery: Pioneer Place and the attendant Wine Bar and Veranda Lounge in a historic building( 1916)in Downtown St Cloud which has been beautifully restored. Over 200 wines, many available by the glass, and if you don't know what to drink, Nick, the bartender will make a knowledgeable suggestion. Co owner Mark( hope I have his name right) was the perfect host, and is good at recommending the perfect single malt scotch, "neat," out of by far the most generous offering of Scotches that I have seen in this area. You feel like you are in "Gatsby " when you are there. They have plays in the Pioneer Place Theater, concerts and a piano bar as well. What a place to bring a date. (The walk in urinal in the upstairs men's room is worth a visit, too).

Pizza, Beer,and Excelsior Blvd

I remember when Don & Peggy Hegedus came to the Mille Lacs area in the early 80's as resort owners on the west shore of the Big Lake. The resort deal didn't work out, and they got into the pizza business because that's all they knew - had been in the retail pizza business in Elk River(?) or Anoka(?) previously.

So they began making and selling Heggies frozen pizzas. The rest is history. They were very successful at it( I am envious), and after many, perhaps 20 yrs or so, have sold, but it's the same great pizza. I had a Heggies Inferno tonight. You know you are eating when you are eating a Heggies Inferno Pizza.

You know how the memories of childhood and of your teenage years, perhaps, are especially memorable? You know, the best times of your life; maybe your first girlfriend, or your second, or third, at the local Pizza Parlor. It was the Pizza House in St Louis Park, on Excelsior Blvd. After a night of a few beers(maybe more) and looking for girls and hanging out at the local burger drive in ( Jay's in Hopkins), and cruising mainstreet( Geez we had a good main street), and maybe a run in w/ a gang from Lake Street in Mpls. Anyways, we would end up at the Pizza House and they had pizza like Heggies. The sauce was on the dough and the generous layer of Italian meats and cheese was like a seperate layer on top. Just like Heggies. I have no idea who owned that Pizza House or if they stayed in business or what. But I have gratitude for the recipe, which Heggie's has duplicated( knowingly or not), and some great memories. Thanks to Don & Peg.

Not Good

I hate to bring this up in the context of outdoorfood, but it was about 50 yrs ago on Nov 28th that Ed Gein got busted for killing and eating people, and doing other things w/ them. Remember all the Ed Gein jokes if you were a kid in the late 50's?

Vikes Not Sloppy; Gettin Tubby w/ Tubby

Some of you may wonder if pasta is outdoor food, but yes, it is, since the wheat to make the pasta is grown outdoors.

So are sloppy joes and corn, which we ate while watching the Vikings game today. Yikes they were good .What a satisfying game. I might even venture so far as to say Childress may be a good coach. Now what to do about the cheerleader that the gophers hired for a football coach. Sloppy joes and corn are not as good when you eat them with that football team.

Tubby is another story. Watch Blake Hoffarber, the freshman from Hopkins(my alma mater), as the Gopher mens' basketball team wins some games this year. Hoffarber was the guy who, remember, sank a basket from on his back as the final millisecond ticked off the clock in the big school state basketball finals two years ago. His shot was a worldwide ESPN highlight. He got 14 pts off the bench for the Gophers last night. Foie gras(tough as butter, succulent) may be on the menu sooner than we think.

Back to the pasta. You may recall that we had penne w/ red sauce last night. We had leftovers( do you ever cook just the right amount of pasta?), but didn't want to eat the same thing tonight. Here's a way to feed the fickle and the fussy. Make an alfredo sauce -melted butter and flour to make a roux, add milk,chicken stock( bouillon cube) salt, pepper, garlic, parmesan cheese. Fettucine alfredo for the kids. Bolognese for the adult(me). Bolognese is when you have red sauce on pasta and then add a white sauce(alfredo)on top of the red sauce.It is a wonderful combination, the best of two worlds. Salud! Game on! Works w/ any red sauce, w/ any pasta.

Snowed In, Just Like You

Snowed up, snowed in, snowed out, like the rest of you tonight. Lucky for me I laid in some larder for the wk end, as well as a decent bottle of Pinot Noir and a Remy Martin VSOP Cognac. When your housemates are two ten year old girls, you get to drink it by yourself, restraintfully of course, with and after dinner which was penne w/ Lois' home canned tomatoes and onions and peppers and mushrooms, plenty of garlic too.

The cognac is really good w/ espresso on the side. Cognac means perfume in French( I think), so be sure to sniff it before you drink it. That is why a SNIFter is recommended.

Shortly I will discover how it goes w/ popcorn balls. That is the end result of an evening w/ ten yr old girls. It is a good way to be snowed up, snowed in and snowed out. It will be Katrina's recipe of butter, marshmallows, and of course popcorn. Katrina is my daughter's guest tonight. We were having a snack earlier of soda crackers and muenster cheese and she said remember when we had rosemary crackers and jarlsberg cheese last summer at the Lake in Wisconsin? I didn't and then did. She has promise when it comes to food. She also saw a big toe emerge from under the door of a haunted house last summer in Wisconsin. She screamed and so did we. She intends to be a cardiac surgeon when she grows up.

I read about Kobe Beef in the most recent issue of Gourmet Magazine tonight. You know, the lovingly raised, hand massaged, beer fed beef cattle of Japan, the one that is all the rage at high end restaurants? Well, turns out they are confined to individual pens so they can't turn around or move too much in order to keep the meat tender. They lay in their own manure, which I suppose is better than laying in someone else's manure, and the massage is really the cowhand using straw to rub the manure off the animal. So much for legend, if the guy that wrote about it is right.

Be Careful about what and where you eat

There is so much to be said about eating in restaurants and cafes and fast food joints.

On TV lastnight I saw a piece about an appetizer at I think an Outback Steakhouse that has an appetizer of french fries topped w/ chili and cheese that has 2900 calories. It is recommended that an average person of 35 or 40 yrs old eats approx 2300 calories in an entire day.

Be careful where you eat and what you eat. It can kill you.

Chili, Julia, and Wyatt

It doesn't get any better than chili and cornbread on the Sunday after Thanksgiving during an unexpected Vikings win, unless you have shared that time w/ your oldest son, his wife and their son, my 2nd and youngest grandchild, Wyatt, who is six months old. There is nothing more special than that.

Leftover chili rivals leftover turkey for leftover eating possibilities. A favorite of mine is a chili cheese omelet. The filling (chili) is ready to use - no chopping and dicing and sauteeing is necessary. Heat the chili in the microwave. Make your omelet in a frying pan. Use almost any cheese. Garnish w/ a generous dollop of sour cream.

Julia Child taught me how to make an omelet on her PBS TV cooking show. She used butter in her pan on med to med high heat and when the butter melts and the " bubbles subside,"( a most Julia-like phrase), you add the egg mixture, which may have a little(tsp) water in it. It still works.

Thanksgiving and Thanksgot

There is a lot to be said about a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, beyond how do turkeys get so big so fast( the same way that chickens do).

It is unarguably the most important food day of the year. Unlike the other holidays in which food figures prominantly, food is the reason for Thanksgiving. Traditional, or a spin on traditional is best. You can get by w/o serving turkey for Christmas - many have built their own tradition - ours is Alaskan King Crab Legs. You can get by w/o serving turkey on Easter. But you cannot get by w/o serving turkey on Thanksgiving.

With stuffing, which you can tweak and individualize, as well as other side dishes, you can make the meal unique to your family. Check out recipes/ideas in seasonal food mags - some are over the top, some are good starting points, some are great. Do your regular menu, but add a side dish.

Watch football, of course, but also consider watching " Home for the Holidays," a riotously funny movie about an extended family gathering together for Thanksgiving. You will laugh till you cry just like you do anyways at your home on this greatest of American holidays.

Golden Plump Hits a Homerun

Did you know that a Golden Plump Chicken barn is 628 feet long? Just over two football fields in length? That a barn of that size holds 52,000 chickens? And that it takes just six weeks to grow a day old chick into a 5 pounder? That it is not uncommon for a chicken's legs to break under the stress of rapid growth and weight gain?

Golden Plump chickens are advertised in supermarket packaging as being all natural. Like Barry Bonds is all natural.

The Bald Eagle and the Coot

Like flies on a cowpie about 20 coots just out front on Platte this morning, 30 ft from me. Bald eagles dive bombing them, managed to isolate one and tire it out so it could no longer dive for safety - an eagle got it in his talons and lifted and then the midair battle began w/ 7 eagles swooping and colliding into the preybearing one in acrobatic attempts to steal it. The coot, now dead, was dropped a dozen times and recaptured by another eagle. Adult eagles( white head) and juveniles were all involved in the aerobatics. Eleven eagles in all. Got some photos but my little digital is more suited to take close ups of food that is not moving. A spectacular show.

Surprised by the Pasty, and the Hunters Feed

For reasons I'll tell you another time, I made a pasty tonight for the first time. Sometimes you have to work with what you've got.

I had no potatoes, so I could not do a traditional pasty, nor rutabagas.

My starch choices were couscous or basmati rice.

Vegetable choices were limited to carrots, celery,onions, and red and green bell pepper.

I did a stir fry with the veggies, ginger and garlic, incorporated the cooked rice, seasoned all with soy sauce and crushed red pepper, and placed it on the pastry round that I made with flour, sugar, salt,water, and veg oil(out of butter), folded into the traditional half moon shape and baked at 400 degrees for 40 minutes( my oven is mis-calibrated).

It turned out surprisingly good, downright edible. Actually better than the traditional ones made by church ladies - I could tell that I was eating when I was eating.

Hunters feed at church on Sat night. Chili and beef stew. Good for church food. Cornbread was exceptional -light brown w/ a nutty flavor . Janelle had done it w/ buttermilk and brown sugar.
Great desserts - brownies w/ walnuts. Pumpkin cake w/ cream cheese frosting. Gingersnap cookies. Ate too much.

The Hypertonic Solution for Fish and Game

Days like these are hard to beat. Seventeen bald eagles in the air over the lake yesterday. Seven today in a tree on the point of the small island - juveniles dive bombing a huge raft of coots just for fun to see them move and make noise - they do this all day.You know how teenagers are.

A half a dozen swans as well, and geese, a group of mallards and redheads too, the first of this fall. And beneath the surface of the water, the walleyes I think have returned via the river channel that connects to Sullivan. Too cold to fish for me to find out. The sunny, warm days of the last two weeks were a real treat to canoe and fish. Biggest largemouth bass that I have seen caught in many yrs and others too, as well as lots of northerns. The walleyes had not returned - dang.

Dr Jerry Poland, in a workplace cookbook( CRMC Surgery & Central Supply), recommends soaking fish filets in a hypertonic solution - 1 tablespoon salt to 1 quart cold water - for about ten minutes before cooking - in order to remove all blood and fishy flavor. He says to do progressive 1 to 2 minute soaks of venison in this solution until the water( solution) is clear, which means that the blood is out.

It works great w/ fish - bass and northern - not a trace of fishy flavor. I will be trying it w/ venison this fall. If there is one thing that I never want in my mouth ever again it is strong or off flavor venison, which is why I much prefer to shoot the very young( though I cannot pass on a trophy buck - thank God for summer sausage via a good meat mkt).

Fast Food God's Way

It's called deer and duck, pheasant, and grouse and so on. They are all pretty fast. They are the good kind of fast food. Cargill doesn't make them, nor the plethora of other large food companies who've had e coli recalls lately. God does( makes them), and we do the harvest. Turns out, it seems, that bigger isn't better. Remember the back to the land movement in the late sixties and early seventies? I guess they were right about something.

If you don't hunt or fish or grow your own garden, it may good to know someone who does, especially if it's a really good friend, or spouse, sibling, or close neighbor. Or else start making some arrangements.

I've always felt that the production, harvest, preparation, and eating of food are some of the most basic of existential endeavors. Now more than ever we know that we can get sick and die from manufactured food with even the best of brand names. That is indeed existential, a life and death situation.

Study up. Pay attention.. Listen, watch, or read the news. Be aware of recalls. Learn more about food. Kill or harvest something and eat it. Go fishing.

Deer, Rutabagas, and the Mail Carrier

Deer. I live in the same area, drive the same roads, use the same eyes at the same times that I always have, and I have hardly seen any deer this yr/fall. Has our DNR gotten hooked on the money they get from bonus deer tag sales? Something is amiss.

Pasties. I guess I don't need the pasty girl w/ the tattoo because I got a call from the Church Lady in Crosby today and guess what I got my two pasties. They were beautiful. They were also as bland as February in February. Beef ( round steak?, tender ), potatoes, onions, rutabagas, carrots. My 10 yr old daughter said Dad it's the worst thing she ever ate, and she only ate the good parts - beef and potatoes. Gravy for dousing or dunking would be good. Scant salt and pepper is all I could discern for seasoning.

I don't think I'll be the first to re-invent these things, but I will, and will let you know of my results. I would like to know that I am eating when I am eating, and I do not know that now. The pastry is good, and the rutabaga an aura, but it was overall a less than memorable food. That said after being so excited about them.
I will practise and do some recipes and let you know. In the meantime I'll be looking up the mail carrier.

Antlers and Long johns

Firearms deer opener this coming wk end. If you get one and eat eat the ribs and neck roast, be sure to drink plenty of hot coffee to melt the wax in your mouth.
Dennis Anderson in the Strib wrote recently of of party hunting to fill buck tags, and suggested that irregardless of legality( party hunting and tagging is legal in Mn), if you want to tag a buck, you should shoot the buck yourself. I agree. It is satisfying to shoot your own buck, and yes, fewer bucks would be shot. Make that deal w/ your hunting party, and consider also a self imposed restriction on bucks w/ 6 ( or 8) tines or less. Manage your hunting land for more and bigger bucks. I personally prefer to shoot yearling deer because they taste so much better, but like most hunters I would not pass on a trophy. There's just something about shooting a nice buck, even if it's dumb luck.
Most of us don't really hunt anymore anyways. We sit in stands high in the air( often enclosed) and shoot. That is shooting, not hunting. There is something to be said about spending time on the ground sneaking and peeking ( still hunting), and building a fire and eating lunch in the woods. A lot of oldtimers shot deer over a fire.
I am thinking of sweet smokey paprika, onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, bayleaf and plenty of garlic in a venison stew. Deglaze the saute` w/ red wine. I'll post a recipe soon. In the meantime, pack the liverwurst and onions and hang your long johns outdoors.

Pasties and Church Ladies

Rumor has it that a certain mail carrier in Range country wears the tattoo of a pasty close to her heart. I have seen her, but I haven't seen it.
A pasty is a meat pie in the shape of a half moon. It has been around since Biblical times. Shakespeare has written of them. Traditionally it includes onions, potatoes, rutabagas, carrots, and meat. Cornish miners - their wives, actually - are thought to be the originators of this hearty and primal pastry, which when carried into the depths of a mine would heat and nourish the body, and light the soul.
They are a big deal in Iron Range country in Northern Minnesota. Though the Cuyuna Range has been gone for more than half a century, pasties remain. Church ladies in Crosby are taking pasty orders for their annual fundraiser. You order ahead by telephone and pick them up at church on Wednesdays in October. They are hot and fresh and homemade, seasoned with more than the salt and pepper that the recipe calls for. I called yesterday ( wed) to order two for next wednesday. The church lady, God bless her, told me that they are already full for next week, but that if there were any cancellations, she would give me a call.
" What,"I said, unbelieving, " how many are you making?"
"Six hundred," she said. I am on the list as 601 and 602. I do not expect a call. I would have a better chance, I think, with the mail carrier.

Didn't Cook Your Goose, Not Yet

Honkers the size of row boats on Platte this morning have me thinking of eating a slow roasted goose or the deep fried version that is all the rage w/ turkeys these days. Don't tell anyone, but I have never cooked a goose, not yours or mine. Nor have I eaten one. They graze like cattle in the grainfields of Canada and get down here via airmail ready to shoot and eat. You must do some plucking, quite a bit, which I have done. It's a long story well actually kind of short, but two geese ended up in the chest freezer alongside dear little Raindrop,the French Poodle, and we didn't eat Raindrop either. I wasn't into extreme eating in those days, nor am I now. Johnny(son) and I had shot them and our big golden retriever Chance had retrieved them when they were less than half dead. Each goose fought him, but he got them in, the only retrieving he had ever done. He was 10 yrs old in human years and he was magnificent.
Anyways, the geese and the dog went with the house when we sold it. The new owners found this out later, I think.
Every recipe has a story. I've got the story, I may have the geese(not telling), and now I need the recipe. If you send me one you will be part of that story. Thanks. Ducks are something else - my favorite game food, but I'll get to them another time.

Scramble eggs, make toast in toaster with bread, eat with mouth

Two hundred words of instructions on how to scramble eggs? Not from me. Two hundred more on how to saute` wild slippery jack mushrooms to go with the eggs? Not from me.
Here goes. Saute`mushrooms. Scramble eggs. Stir mushrooms into eggs. Use salt, pepper, garlic, and parsley as you wish (and green onions). Eat. That's 21 words, including" eat".
Its really good. If you can't do that, don't eat. Oh - "make toast" too. That's 23 words.
I bring this up because of a recipe that I got via email today.
Am I wrong? Do you need someone to tell you how to scramble eggs? Let me know.

Had a Great Time - Wish You Were There

We all want to learn more about wine - what to cook with - what to drink with what. I know the cooking part, and it in no way involves the salted, unpalateable "cooking wine" that you will find in grocery stores in Mn. If you were teenager and drank it in a miguided quest to get high, you know what I mean.
It is good to have a friend who was in the wine making business, just as it is good to have a friend who is a chef. You have access, then, to a specialized body of knowledge based on years of experience. It is hands on learning and better in the same way that the food network works better than a book.
A cooking class is better in that way too. You get hands on experience as you participate. You get to see exactly how a chef does it,why and you can get answers to your questions. You will get "insider" information. You get to learn that cooking is as much art and process as it is recipe and chemistry. You get to share in the genuine passion and creative joy of your instructer. He will laugh and have fun and so will you.
He will tell you the history and the story behind every recipe, and believe me, every recipe has a story.
You will eat well and drink nicely paired wines - chardonnay w/ the garlic and parsley chicken, sauvignon blanc w/ herbed saute`ed walleye, and a Spanish tempranillo ( like pinot) w/ the bayou pasta.
Wish you were there.

Fast Food John's Way

Cooking class tonight. Showtime. My intent is to cook three different complete dinners in twenty minutes or less per meal. I have always cooked from scratch at home, and have discovered that many(most?) people don't. As a recent recipient of a freezer full of pre-prepared foods from a friend who worked for a home delivery food product company, I made an interesting discovery. It takes longer to get that pre-prepared food to the table than to make it yourself . Plus, read the label of ingredients in those " convenience " foods, and you will be shocked. I am not a foodscientist, but I am sure that some of that stuff would kill mice.
And of course, the Agri-Giant food processors have been in the news lately. Some of their foods are poison. All the more reason to cook your own food at home.
I'll be doing a boneless breast of chicken w/ garlic, parsley and white wine, a "bayou" pasta w/ penne` noodles, shrimp and sausage, and saute`ed walleye w/ wine and herbs. These recipes are simple, fast, and are a level way above the usual pre-pared fare. I'll let you know it goes.

It's Miller Time, Again

My personal sommelier dicovered slippery jack mushrooms under the pines of Platte Lake today. Kind of a flattened and flaring top, wet, hence slippery, with fine sponge-like spores on the underside. The inner flesh is lemon colored with the flavor and texture of cool butter.
It is Miller Time because that is part of his name and when he does something good, we call it Miller Time. Discovering and picking these mushrooms was something good. It is also good when he chooses the wine to go with dinner. He has been a winemaker and blender as well as a mushroom hunter. It is often Miller Time these fine October days.
Simply sauteed in butter w/ fresh parsley in an omelette is my recommendation for these delicately flavored mushrooms, w/ sauteed zucchini and tomatoes on the side. Grate some fresh parmesan cheese over all.
I am teaching a class " Fast Food John's Way" on Monday( 15th) as part of Onamia's community education program. 6 PM at the high School. There is still room for a few more. We will eat well, have fun and learn something something about food and wine. Miller will be there to assist me, so it will be Miller Time too.

Miller Time

It is Miller time when you eat Prudhomme's cajun meatloaf w/ his spicy cajun meat sauce. It is a meatloaf w/ plenty of onions, celery, and sweet and hot peppers, which are sauteed first into sweetness before adding to the meat mixture. And it does cry for beer rather than the Burgundy or Pinot of my previous more traditional meatloaf. Check out the big guys first cookbook, Chef Paul Prudhomme's Louisiana Kitchen. Nobody talks about him these days, but it was/is an authentic regional cuisine based on what is all the current rage - local and sustainable ingredients. That's all they had back then. It is not a new thing.
Use the last of the season's zucchini to make zucchini bread. Recipes abound - use last wks Startrib recipe or get one from a local church lady( LakeView Community Church in Hillman), do a third or a half wholewheat flour instead of all white, add some pumpkin pulp, and ground hazelnuts or walnuts, to make it as good for you as it tastes.
If you use pancake mix at home, do your body and mind a favor by adding whole wheat flour by a third or half, and some dry oatmeal( 1/3 cup). They taste like the buckwheat cakes of your childhood and are really good for you.

Mango Bango Best

A friend just told me of some raspberry wine she has recently made and suggested that it would be good w/ walleye and a hot (spicy) mango salsa. I agreed, and would suggest a blackened fish too, as the cool fruit and the heat of the salsa w/ the fish would balance beautifully. Prudhomme was really a genious in developing the blackening method - besides the flavor and heat or not heat ( a choice) of the herbs and spices he used is the utility of those in the cooking and sealing in the moisture of the fish. Why do we all love fried fish? - the crispy outside and the moist and tender inside. Prudhomme's blackening does the same thing, and it adds taste and a wow factor. He's the genious - Emeril's the showman.
Cantalope can substitute for mango for we midwesterners, and add almost any other fruit like strawberries and kiwi and watermelon, honeydew or whatever you can get along w/ heat in the form of habaneros( jalapenos) or crushed red pepper to taste, and of course salt, black pepper and garlic. Be sure to include sweet red pepper and green onions and cilantro ( if you like it) and fresh parsley.
The raspberry wine? Dunno - will have to try it and let you know. This salsa would also be good w/ game birds like grouse or pheasant. Or, tried and true, saute` boneless pheasant or grouse pieces, floured and seasoned ( salt and pepper) in oil and finish w/ a sweet and hot Thai chili pepper sauce. It's as good as candy. Your family and guests will love it. Spear the pieces w/ frilled toothpicks, and serve as an appetizer.

High Noon on a Nice October Day

High noon in the hardwoods is probably not the best time or place to hunt grouse, but I paid my 20 bucks and did it anyway because it was a beautiful October day. We jumped 1 chickadee and 5 robins. Ross got loon scat gumbo on his boots and I got a paper cut from the elephant grass. It was ok for a walk in the park and it reminded me of why I usually hunt near Floodwood ( Gowan) because when there are no birds there is still the history of all the gots and got nots.
I hear on the radio that Morrie's Seafood Market( of the original Fish House fame) is now open on # 371 N of Brainerd next to Famous Dave's. Wallah! Good luck to Steve and Ellen. Gotta get up there soon to check it out . They really know fresh fish and how to take care of it and have( had) the best assortment of cheeses anywhere in this lakes country. No restaurant, just a market and Deli - according to the ad on the radio - which was their strong point anyway. I can almost taste it - and will report back on it.
The Spot lite Cafe in Garrison remains the best pancakes in the area - been doing it right for so long w/ their homemade buttermilk batter that no where else even comes close to it. Most, if not all other places use the Krusteaz add water only mix. I do wish someone would do Mexican eggs( huevos rancheros) in this area. I do like to know that I am eating when I am eating.

Caught and cooked w/ a friend

My favorite kitchen appliance is my prep cook. It is good to have an old friend visit and lend a hand when you have fresh walleye to eat. This morning it will be floured and pan fried w/ onions, sweet peppers, zucchini, tomatoes, eggs and buttered whole wheat toast.Good, good, good.
Last night it was done as a one cast iron pan meal like a Cuban style paella w/ the same vegetables and rice and black beans with plenty of garlic, some heat, and the juice of a whole lime. Dice the vegetables small and saute in oil( olive or veg), add rice, stir, water and seasonings, bring to a boil and simmer covered till the rice is almost done. Add beans ( canned), adjust seasonings( red pepper,salt, black pepper, garlic, oregano or cilantro, parsley), and add 3" or 4" portions of fish. Season w/ lemon pepper over all and lime juice over all and simmer covered for 10 minutes or uncovered in a 425 degree oven. Juices of the fish should just run clear. It is simple and fast ( half hour total), is not the mess of frying fish, and is a riot of color, depth, and layers of flavor. It is rich like fried fish, but is healthy too, especially if you use brown rice ( try instant brown ). Great w/ beer.

Little bucks and Ducks

A friend just arrowed a little buck. I'm thinking of tenderloins on toast - sliced medallions done rare to med rare( seasoned w/ salt,pepper, garlic) with sautee`d onions and mushrooms( this is our 2nd and greatest mushroom season - perfect this yr w/plenty of rain, you can see them from your car), with fresh sage and the pan deglazed w/ brandy or cognac or red wine.
For an appetizer do them rare on little crostini's( toasts) and serve cold w/ wasabi.
Duck opener this wk end - I have not hunted ducks for some years now, but they remain my favorite game food. I'll do some recipes over the next wk or so.

Meatloaf Reconsidered

Meatloaf is fancier than you think. It is really a country pate` and if you should drink a Pinot Noir or a Burgundy along with it, it will change your meatloaf experience. Make a dipping sauce of 1 part dijon mustard to 3 parts catsup and add tabasco to taste - its like a spicy Heinz 57 only better.If you line up green stuffed olives like marbles in the center of your meatloaf mixture it is like a surprise inside and it tastes really good too.

The Perfect Storm

Catching the right fish in the right place at the right time with the right person is a perfect storm. I caught a steelhead like that once where the springtime Poplar river explodes into Lake Superior in front of Lutsen Resort. My oldest son was 19 and just back from his first year of college out east. I was on the lam from my business, my life and my wife, and Alex and I were having time together that we'd never had, the time of our lives. Some had accused me of having a nervous breakdown. $39 a night in the old cliffside motel at the resort was a bargain even back then. It was 4:30 Am. Fog was rolling in off the big lake. It was cold. On my third cast I caught a 5lb Coho. A half hour later I was the king of the world as I worked the steelhead out of a furious current which had enabled him to jump head high several times.I never thought I'd get him in until I did. Him turned out to be a her as a couple of oldtimers were on us fast and milking the eggs out of her lower belly.
" Bastard's. Don't let them do that," said the taxidermist bartender in the Polar Bear Lounge with disco lights in the black floor.I'll never know if that fresh caught steelhead would've been as good as the luscious flesh of the coho which we stuffed w/ rice and onions and peppers, zucchini and carrots and garlic and ginger and soy sauce and a sweet hot mustard and wrapped in foil and roasted in the dying embers of a fire on the beach. It was the best fish we ever ate, and we'll never duplicate the meal, nor the serendipitious events of that day. You cannot predict a perfect storm. Nor the predeliction of a bartender/taxidermist for fresh steelhead. The bastard. I did get the mount and it is a beautiful mount and it is above me as I write this. I can almost taste it.
I'm trying to get to the third salmon recipe, which is simply made from leftover salmon( hah -good luck) or a portion of the fillet that you have poached in water or white wine. The poaching liquid should be half way up the filet in the pan. Cover and cook real slow like you love the fish - a bare simmer. When you cook it real slow it's flesh will melt in your mouth like butter. Make an alfredo sauce to which you add green peas and the salmon which you have gently flaked w/ a fork; get hot( 1 min) and serve over any kind of pasta w/ fresh grated parmesan cheese.
Vivian says she loves cooking w/ wine and sometimes she'll put some in the food too.

,Slow Food, Outdoor Food, Gravlax recipe

All food, really, is outdoor food or at least used to be. It lives outside and grows outside. Except for chickens and pigs. I live in farm country and I never see a chicken or a pig outside any more. They spend their lives indoors in those long barns. Is that natural, as Golden Plump claims on their packaged chickens in the supermarket?
The Slow Food movement is a fast growing movement these days. When I think of slow food, I think of turtles. Salmon would be a fast food. Bacon should be cooked slowly, as should eggs unless you are doing an omelet, which should start fast and finish slow. I am a little confused about the slow food movement.
This gravlax recipe is adapted from Beard on Food, by James Beard. For a 1 1/2 lb salmon filet, use 1/8 cup salt( sea or pickling), 1/8 cup sugar, and 1 tablespoon coarse ground black pepper, and lots of fresh or dried dill. Mix together and sprinkle on both sides of the skinned fillet, cover w/ plastic film, and refrigerate for 36 to 48 hours, turning once. It is my suggestion that you should eat some about 15 minutes after seasoning or even right away.Let the rest cure as indicated. These are two distinctly different flavors and textures of salmon.

Burn wood, eat salmon, live longer

So if you want the salt cured gravlax( lox as in lox and bagels), I will be posting an accurate recipe that will safely cure the flesh of the fish. Salt curing is one of oldest methods of saving food in a safe way. Erich Christ, longtime owner of the Black Forest Inn in S Mpls claims that the vinegar cure is the oldest method of preserving meat, as in sauerbraten.
Use the second portion of salmon that you have sliced off the filet to cook on the outdoor gas grill or the weber. I always cook with wood on my weber - there is an abundance of oak and maple and other hardwoods in this area of Mn -and I've always thought why buy charcoal briquettes when they come from wood just burn your own wood you don't need much and it is free and not full of added poisons like bagged charcoal briquettes are. And it gives a real wood flavor. It takes a little longer, not much, and the result is ten times better. Rub the filet w/ olive or vegetable oil, season with lemon pepper and maybe dill or tarragon( subtle licorice essence) fresh or dried and grill two minutes on the first side, flip and grill 2 or 3 minutes on the other side. A general rule of thumb is 7 minutes per inch of fish. You do not want to do this w/ salmon you want to cook it medium rare to medium so it doesn't dry out and "taste too much like salmon." Place a pat of butter on top to serve. Stick w/ a dry white wine as previously recommended or beer.

It Worked! It Worked! Now What?

There is/was a glitch, definitely, because I now have public access and so should everyone. To the food quickly and briefly....
Get some line caught Copper River Sockeye Salmon from a friend, a friend of a friend, or from Lakes Meat and Market ten mi west of Onamia on hwy 27. Skin the filet and slice into 3 or four portions. Remember, this is sushi quality salmon.
First portion: precipitate the filet on both sides w/ a half teaspoon sea salt and a half teaspoon sugar and plenty of dill( fresh or dried), and place on plate in fridge.Immediately take out of fridge and slice as thinly as you can across the grain of the flesh and at an angle. Put cream cheese on a cracker of your choice, a slice of salmon, and top w/ any of the following to taste: wasabi or chinese hot mustard, and red or green onion. This is so good it doesn't taste like salmon if you know what I mean. Drink beer with it, or Champagne, or a white wine like Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc, or even lighter reds like Merlot or Pinot Noir. Salud! And ter`ve tu`loa ( come again).

Inside Outdoor Food

I tried this back in May, have six posts, but no public access to it so I am trying it again. I have been told that it is idiot proof, and that " anyone can do it," so if the previous attempt did not work, what does that say about me? That I know more about food than this? ( the" title"line above may have been the problem I surmise as I write). Well - in good food and good luck I sign off.